Alain Delon’s Family Feud: Childhood Trauma and the Poison of Favoritism
Exploring the Turmoil Behind the Icon's Tumultuous Legacy
A strange and sad show has unfolded on French TV over the past months. Alain Delon’s three children have exposed to the world their family feud.
As the twilight of an idol unfolds before our eyes, the mud of unresolved childhood wounds stains the iconic image of the actor and sex symbol.
Some find this display shocking and degrading for the star’s image, but it can be seen as an interesting example of what happens when parents with unhealed childhood traumas openly prefer one of their children.
Let’s dive into the Delon saga to try to understand what went wrong.
Alain Delon, from wounded son to overwhelming father
French actor and megastar Alain Fabien Maurice Marcel Delon, 88, was born in 1935 to Édith (1911–1995) and Fabien Delon (1904–1977).
Fabien Delon who worked in a cinema as a projectionist also had a camera with which he filmed scenes from everyday life, something that could be at the root of Alain Delon’s future career in cinema.
His parents divorced when he was four.l
A troubled childhood
After his parents’ divorce, Alain Delon was sent to live with foster parents and then attended different boarding schools from which he was expelled for bad behavior.
He left school at 14 and worked for a brief time at his stepfather’s butcher shop. At 17 he enlisted in the French Navy, and as an arrangement after having stolen some military material, he was sent to fight in the Indochina war (1953–1954).
When he came back, he cut ties with his parents, whom he blamed for letting him go off to war.
It seems Alain Delon never had a solid father figure to guide him. He also felt abandoned by his mother and decided to fend for himself without owing anything to his family.
Far from being a peaceful start in life, these events contain the seeds of what he will reproduce with his children.
Three or four children?
Alain Delon’s children, Anthony, born in 1964 from Nathalie Delon, Anouchka (1990), and Alain-Fabien (1994) from Rosalie van Breemen, have brought their fight to the public eye.
After joining forces in July 2023 to rescue their father from the clutches of his housekeeper or love partner, depending on who you talk to, the three children now disagree on where their father should live and are attacking each other through media and justice.
Coincidentally, this turmoil began in early July 2023 after Ari Boulogne’s death and before he was even buried on July 18th. Ari Boulogne, who always claimed he was Alain Delon’s son and had been partly raised and adopted by Alain Delon’s mother, was never acknowledged as his son by Alain Delon.
Born in 1962 and the son of the German rock star and drug addict Nico, Ari led a sad and destitute life. His decomposing body was found in May 2023, sometime after his death, probably from an overdose.
Ari was Alain Delon’s spitting image, “ a morphological coincidence” as Alain Delon coined it. A simple DNA test would have cleared the matter, but it never happened during Ari’s life, although he asked for it. His two children have again brought this claim to court.
Alone in the Delon family, Anthony expressed sadness publicly over Ari’s death.
In another episode of this family drama, in January 2024, the star’s three children have been waging a war, each claiming to defend their father’s best interests. Anouchka Delon wants him to be treated in Switzerland, where she lives while Anthony and Alain-Fabien disagree as they say they intend to respect their father’s wish to spend the rest of his days at his Douchy estate in France where he is currently staying.
Unresolved childhood trauma will keep repeating from generation to generation as long as it is not healed.
This family drama shows how traumas and difficulties are passed on from a father to his children. We can also see at work how the unfairness of treatment experienced by children prevents them from getting along and is at the root of fratricidal wars.
Here is a list of the most striking points we know about their lives:
Both Alain Delon’s sons had to go through their parents’ separation around the same age as he did.
Like their father both sons went through a complicated childhood and schooling, and were expelled from schools and boarding schools; Both left school early. Only Anouchka obtained her high school diploma.
Like their father who had been caught breaking the law and had been to war, both sons had problems with firearms and the law around 17–18 years old. Anthony spent one month in prison and Alain-Fabien accidentally wounded a girl with a gun during a party at his father’s place, to name only the most striking instances of their troubled teenage years.
Like his father, Anthony had a first “hidden” child, a daughter born of a “one-night stand” with a dancer at the Crazy Horse, whose existence he discovered after she was born. He accepted a paternity test when she was 21 and started seeing her, but their relationship seems to be complicated. Still, he did better than his father on this one.
Both sons and Anouchka have appeared in films and TV series, never matching their father, to whom they are always compared.
Alain Delon gave his three children a first name beginning with the letter “A”. They share the same initials, A.D., as he does. Or A.-F.D. for Alain-Fabie, even closer to his father’s name.
Alain-Fabien inherited his hyphenated first name from his father (Alain Fabien) and his grandfather (Fabien), which links him even more to his father’s and grandfather’s destinies. It is also confusing and increases the difficulty of finding one’s identity.
Alain Delon sued Anthony to prevent him from using the A. D. trademark for a brand of jackets he wanted to market. In an Instagram video Anthony asked his father who was in front of him “What do you see?”, Alain Delon answered, “I see Alain Delon”.
In a very narcissistic way, Alain Delon recognizes himself in his boys, encourages them and forbids them to be like him, and perhaps ultimately sees them as rivals to be supplanted.
Alain Delon has been known to be a strict, even violent father with his boys. But he has been very different with his daughter, whom he spoiled and doted on.
Being the favorite child, a blessing or a curse?
It is no secret that Anouchka is Alain Delon’s favorite child. This has always been clear and plain to see. Anthony quantified this preference by declaring on TV that she had received 90% and Alain-Fabien only 10% of their father’s love, attention, help, and guidance.
Alain-Fabien confirmed this by saying that he has always felt neglected, rejected, and despised in this family.
Anthony also said that their father’s will had already been written and that everything had been settled before Alain Delon’s stroke in 2019. Anouchka will receive 50%, Anthony and Alain-Fabien 25% each (the minimum they can inherit under French law) - another way of showing who's the favorite.
Anouchka is also involved in her father's company as vice president and lives a luxurious life in Geneva.
Being preferred or rejected, in both cases, means not being truly loved and both situations cause pain and suffering. If you are the favorite, your parents create a debt for you towards your brothers and sisters and you will feel guilty, although maybe unconsciously.
When her father dies, Anouchka will be alone to face her brothers who are brought closer by the fact that they have both been mistreated by their father. As Anouchka does not seem to be looking for appeasement, the war might be fierce, fuelled by jealousy and justified anger.
Of course, she is not responsible for being the favorite, but all her brothers’ resentment will likely focus on her after their father‘s demise.
The neglected child sacrifices himself to help his abusive parent
It's often the least loved child who takes care of the parent who has neglected him or her, perhaps in the delusional hope of receiving a few crumbs of love before it's too late.
So it is not a surprise, that Alain-Fabien has been living with and taking care of his sick father for some time. To do this, he had to give up his professional projects and isolate himself in the isolated, dilapidated estate of Douchy, as he painted it. Alone with a father who seems to have preferred his dogs to his sons, he played the caretaker for an impotent old man who kept asking if it was morning or evening.
A strange burial site
Alain Delon has always stated he wanted to be buried in his Douchy estate, where his 40 dogs are already buried.
He made all the arrangements and planned everything to make this possible. He even built a chapel with a six-place tomb. Who are the five other places for? Did he intend them for a woman and four children? In any case, it would be interesting to know who else wants to be buried there.
In conclusion, I'd like to stress that the family is the initial model of any society: shaken by tensions that can lead to open warfare, it is also a community that can embody an ideal of love, sharing, and fruitful collaboration.
Let’s not forget this and do our best to improve society by bringing love and justice into our families.
Every child should be welcomed and treated in the same way as their siblings.
While we're still alive, it's never too late to correct an unfair situation and avoid burdening future generations.
May this inspire Alain Delon and all those like him before it is too late.
In this video, you can see the striking resemblance between Ari Boulogne and Alain Delon. Not that it proves anything, though.
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